Court Date

Well my hopes to have Clara sealed to us on my birthday will not be a reality. My lawyer called into the judge's office hoping to get us in on the 16th of December, but Judge W. is booked all of December, so we won't have our hearing until January 10th...Ugh! I have to admit that that put a damper in my day. But I know the Lord's hand is in this, so there has to be a reason. Maybe it is better that it isn't right in the middle of the holidays. The funny side to this is that because of how long this is taking, I actually could just wait and have both of my babies blessed at the same time. Wouldn't that be hilarious! We are always joking that Clara will be walking up to her dad for her blessing...it may not be a joke.

Update

Wow, it has been over a month since I have written anything. I am now 26 weeks pregnant, and I must say that this pregnancy is going incredibly fast. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and realized that it was 2 years ago that night that I was rushed to the hospital because of my placenta previa. Who would have thought that two years later I would be holding a sweet little baby girl and expecting another one. How blessed can one be! Everything is good. The baby is healthy and moving often. It is kind of a funny feeling when I have Clara laying on my stomach kicking, while the little one in my womb is kicking as well. I hope that they will be the best of buds.

Brian has been traveling like crazy. It started when I left for Wyoming back in June and really hasn't let up. He has been gone away from us more then he is at home. I try to not complain, because with this economy we are living in, it is a blessing he has a job. So we enjoy every minute that he is at home.

Thanksgiving will be spent at home this year...as usual. I really like it that way, I am quite the home body. I think we will have about 21 here in our little home which will be wonderful!

Just for fun, I thought I would post some pictures of my sweet kids. Kaylie is really taking a liking to photography, so she is always snapping someone's picture. I think she does a great job. Here are just some of the ones she has taken of her siblings.

My up and coming photographer, Kaylie, with little Clara


My darling little preteen, Madeline, sporting her braces that have brought her nothing but pain. What we do for straight teeth!


My handsome Wesley.


My sweet Abigail.


Oh My!!


This is Clara on Halloween. We didn't have a costume for her, but at the last minute remembered we had some Build A Bear outfits that just might work. Here she is...our little cheerleader!

It's A Girl!

I had my 20 week ultrasound today and was surprised to find out that we are having a little girl. I have never felt girl this pregnancy, just boy. I had his name picked out and was calling the baby a "he". Sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways. I am happy with whatever we get, I just was so hoping for a little brother for Wesley, because he has so wanted one. But the Lord knows best.

She is perfect and everything looks good, which makes me truly happy. I hadn't even taken a thought to girl names, so I will be working on that. It will be fun for Clara to have a sister so close in age. I am just curious how we are going to get 5 girls in one room. Do they make triple decker bunk beds?

Double Rainbow

My friend reminded me when I read her blog about the title of rainbow baby. The baby that comes after your angel baby is called a rainbow baby. I got to thinking about it, and thought that I get a double rainbow. Clara came to us and soon after we found out we were expecting. What a sweet blessing that is.

I went into the doctors yesterday. Everytime it gets close to an appointment, it seems that I get anxiety. I start getting nervous that they won't find a heartbeat. Between losing Nicolas and having two miscarriages after, I really struggle each time that they put that doppler to my stomach. The first time I went in to the doctors, he had to talk me into having the doppler. I just wanted to wait until I felt the baby move, then I would know that it had a heartbeat. He said, "Elisha, if you are this big, there is a live baby growing in there." I consented and then allowed an ultrasound to be performed. The sound of the heartbeat is one of the most beautiful sounds I could ever hear. Yesterday it was strong and perfect. He decided to scan me because he thought I felt a little smaller than 18 weeks. It seemed like forever until they finally got me into the ultrasound room. While waiting, I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head, just trying to imagine why my baby wasn't growing. When it finally came time to scan me, everything was well, I was just carrying this little one really low. I am 18 weeks and measured right on.

Besides having a doctors appointment yesterday, I also had a hearing in the morning with my lawyer and the judge here. My lawyer was trying to have the 6 months that an adoption usually takes waived, but the judge said no. I was disappointed, hoping that it would all be over. As I was on the phone with them, all the ugliness of what I had to go through in Wyoming, came back. Doubts started coming to my mind, wondering if she would still be ours. Thinking how horrible it would be if they took her away from us. My lawyer is confident and told me not to worry. I am really trying not to. I am hoping that the adoption will be finalized by Dec. 16th and we will be able to go through the temple on the 18th...my birthday. That would be the best birthday present ever. It is all in the Lord's hands. All has worked out so far, I just need to continue to have faith.

Needless to say, yesterday was quite an eventful day.

Double the Blessings

As you can see from the ticker, we are expecting. About two weeks into the adoption, I found out. I am now 15 weeks and everything looks good. We are very excited, but a little overwhelmed.

Clara is doing so well and finally gaining some weight. She is a really good baby.

Finally Home!!!

I can't express how great it is to be home, though I did love spending so much time with my sister and her family. The ride home took us 12 hours, but I have to say how wonderful both Clara and Abby were. They just couldn't have been any better. I came home to pink balloons in my front yard (Thanks Patricia!) and a sweet welcome home sign from my kids. Grandpa and Grandma were there to meet us. The rest of the family were at pack meeting, so we had to wait a while to see them.

I had another surprise when I walked into the house...it smelled horrible! Two nights before I got home, the washing machine flooded over and soaked the whole hallway. The kids and Angie cleaned it up, but the pad underneath the carpet was still wet, thus the horrible smell. It was really bad. After talking to my insurance agent and a company who cleans up disasters, we decided we would rip up the carpet (I have wanted to get rid of it for some time anyway)and work on putting wood flooring down. Not something we planned to do so soon, but need to out of necessity. And since we are doing the floors, it would seem logical to do the painting as well, don't you think? So here we go. I am quite excited.

Anyway, the rest of the family arrived and were thrilled to see us. I just love how they have all fallen in love with Clara. Wesley's words were, "I am addicted to her". Now we have something new to argue about, "I want to hold her!" and "I want to feed her!" and "I want to sit by her!" They really are so cute with her. I think Clara had a hard time coming here with all the new people and new surroundings, but she seems to be okay now.

It really does feel good to be home and be "MOM" again. Friday night I cooked dinner, and we sat down as a family to enjoy it. It was such a great feeling. I missed them so much, and I know the feeling was mutual.

Newest pictures of Clara

This one is for my friend Dawn, who loves Bret Favre.


Big sister Abby with little Clara. Abby loves her new baby sister and is a huge help to her mom.


Don't you just love that hair and those big eyes. She is just beautiful!

I'm Coming Home!!

My lawyer in Utah called me today and said, "Come on home!". I have been waiting for those words for weeks, and somedays thought they would never come.
I picked up my dear friend, Angie, today at the airport so she could ride back with me tomorrow on my trip home. She has been an absolute angel for me through all this, words can't begin to thank her. Also, I have the greatest sister and brother-in-law. They took me into their home for all these weeks and took care of me and supported me through all this. They are true gems. My dear parents have helped out with all the yard duties and with taking care of my children. I have had so many e-mails and phone calls of support and encouragement from friends and family that helped me get through all this (Thanks Dawn!) I am so blessed to have so many who love and care for me and my family.
This truly has been one of the hardest trials that our family has had to go through, but the blessing of having this sweet little daughter in our home has made it totally worth it. She has already brought so much joy.
Everyone knows that I am a terrible picture taker. Angie is back on the project, so we will have pictures posted soon.

Still here

I am still here, going on my 5th week. I had some major developments, now it is just getting through the ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children). Basically, I hand in all the paper work to Wyoming ICPC, they look over it and hopefully approve it. Then they send it to Utah for approval. Then if all goes well, I can go home. I am really hoping for the end of next week, because I so want to spend the 24th of July with my family. Wish me luck!

Trip to Evanston

I never thought that I would be taking a trip to Evanston, but you do what you have to do. The 5 hour trip there wasn't too bad, I only had to stop 3 times. I actually was able to stop in Lyman, which was really quite a detour, but it was a cute little town.

Brian was the first one to greet me and his first response to Clara was priceless, "Oh my littleness!" How quick we forget how small these wee little ones are when they come into this world. She is little and teeny. We then went to surprise the kids. They were so excited and everyone wanted to hold Clara. I was showered with hugs, kisses and gifts. It felt so good to be reunited with them.

The one that I was most nervous about was Wesley. I didn't really know how he felt about getting yet another sister. But he just loved her and wanted to hold his "little baby sister". It was too sweet.

I can't make an entry about Evanston without telling about our accomodations. We went a little on the cheap side in order to get two rooms, so we wouldn't all be squished in one room. Well, you get what you pay for. I won't mention the name of the hotel, but it was absolutely horrible. Brian explained that we were on a Chevy Chase Vacation, and he wasn't exaggerating. We couldn't get out of there none too soon. We did enjoy swimming at the Rec Center though.

We parted the next day after breakfast. Abby came with me. Just as we left, she started crying and said, "I am going to miss them." She pretty much cried all the way past Rock Springs. I had her call her dad, but she could hardly talk because she was so upset. I then gave her a Werther's candy and that seemed to change her mood. Sugar can really come in handy sometimes. I only had to stop once on the way back, which was awesome.

All in all it was wonderful to be with them and hard to come back. I am still hoping to be home next week, but it is in the Lord's hands.

Here are some pictures we took of Clara meeting her family. I realized that we didn't get any pictures of Clara with her dad...oops! We will make sure we do that when we get home. Sorry about the side picture of Maddie. I tried fixing it, but it didn't work.

A new perspective

My sweet Maddie had our dear friend Lauren transform me and Clara into royalty. It really makes me think of things on a more eternal level. I thought it was quite sweet! I especially like my dress.

Progress

I guess you could say that I am not a very patient person, I really hate to wait. I had been here in Wyoming for two weeks and really nothing had happened in the progression of this adoption. Feelings of hopelessness and doubt kept coming upon me, as well as always wondering if I would ever get to go home. Well I am happy to say that things started to move this week, and we have made some progress. It looks like I might be able to come home in two weeks, which still seems like a long time, but atleast there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have to admit that I have truly felt the adversary trying to stop this whole process, and through my natural eyes I didn't know if it would ever work out. But the Lord has been by my side the whole time, and I can always feel Him pick me up when I start falling. Anything that could possibly go wrong seems to do so, but then by some miracle it all works out. It has been quite the roller coaster ride.

Clara is doing very well. I am grateful for this time that her and I have had to bond with one another. I wouldn't have been able to have so much one on one time with her if I would have been at home because of all my other responsibilities, so I see the blessing in this time away, even though it has been hard. I am truly grateful for this experience, it has humbled me and strengthened my testimony more than I could imagine.

Our New Addition

On Monday June 14th, I woke up to as normal of day as any. I went walking with my friend Angie, and we had been talking about how something can happen in your life to change it so quickly. Little did I know that that would be happening to me that morning. When I returned home, my sister in Wyoming called me to see if I would be interested in a little baby girl just born that morning. Shocked would be a good way to describe how I was feeling. Brian was away on a business trip in Texas, so I needed to get a hold of him, this definately wasn't a decision to make on my own. He called me back and was very supportive.

By 8pm that night I was on the road with my friend Angie for an all night road trip to Wyoming. I must confess I drank my first coke in I don't know how many years to try and stay awake. We made it to my sister's home at 6am. We were able to get cleaned up and then head to the hospital to see this precious baby.

The process of finding a lawyer was a roller coaster. So many gave me no hope, but the Lord was on my side and led me to two wonderful lawyers, one in Wyoming and one in Utah. Plus the social worker who will be doing my home study is a dear friend in my ward.

I have had this sweet baby girl with me since June 16th. We have decided to name her Clara Paulina Jones. Clara has been a special name to me. Paulina is the name of her birth maternal great grandmother. She is absolutely beautiful and such a good baby.

I am not sure how long I will be here in Wyoming. The legal side of this takes quite some time especially since me and the baby reside in different states. I sent my dear friend Angie home on the plane Monday, so she could get back to her family. It has been very difficult being away from my family. I miss them so incredibly that it hurts. Brian has been gone this week as well to Taiwan, so our children have been on there own for the last two weeks. My dear parents are next door and we have so many friends and neighbors that are helping us which is such a blessing. We are going to meet in Evanston this next week, so we can see one another, and they can meet Clara. As long as I stay in the state I am okay to move about. I will be bringing Abby back with me.

Thanks for all the concern, words of encouragement and prayers. I need them. Somedays I think that I am not going to last. I am still not sure if she will be ours, but I have faith that the Lord will do the best for this precious daughter of His. I feel it an honor to be able to take care of her, and give her a good start to her life here on this earth.

I will keep everyone updated on the happenings here. My lawyers our out of town until next week, so hopefully something will transpire then.

March 2010

I really should just close up my blog, I am so pathetic at it. I am going to play a little catch up here. On March 18th Nicolas would have been celebrating his 1st birthday. I struggled with what to do, because I knew whatever it was it would set the tradition for years to come. I didn't want to have a regular birthday party. I know that some do, that is what comforts them, but I just wanted something simple. I knew if I made it too focused on him, then I would just be unhappy the whole day and I didn't want that, so this is what we did. We bought a sweet bouquet of balloons to put on his grave. Then we decided to go serve someone who needed help. I knew that by concentrating on others in need, I wouldn't feel so sorry for myself. There was a family in our ward that was moving and in need of help, so we went to assist them with their packing. We made dinner and took it up to eat with them. Lasagne, garlic bread and salad, which was the same dinner some dear friends had made for us when we came home from the hospital, was our menu.
The day went well. I didn't shed a tear until I was in my bed at night and everyone else was asleep. I finally broke down. It was a cry of one who has had a big weight taken off their shoulders. I had made it through the first year. There were many ups and downs, but it was good. I have felt the Lord with me through it all, and I have grown so much. Trials are good for that.
We miss Nicolas more than words can say, but what a beautiful day it will be on Resurrection Morning when our little one is handed back to us. So until then, we have a sweet little Angel watching over us.
We love you Nicolas!! xoxoxo

This is our "Nicolas" tree. Some sweet friends in our ward gave it to us when we lost him. It will be a tradition of ours to take a picture of the kids each year on his birthday. How fun it will be to see it and the kids grow, and also watch as we add to our family when our children marry and have children of their own.

 

I just had to post this. The other day out of the blue, Abby says to Wes, "Oh my Wesley, you're handsome!" We all just started laughing. Wesley was blushing. I have to agree with her, he is handsome.

Sewing Class

 

Kaylie and Maddie had a great opportunity to take sewing lessons from a dear sister in our ward. Their first project was a headband, then they made some darling skirts to wear to church. Their last project was pajamas. To celebrate their final accomplishment, they all wore their new pajamas and had a video/pizza party. I was so grateful to this sweet mom to take the time to teach my girls this important skill. I really wished I liked to sew, but I really just don't! I am so glad when others can share their talents with my children. By the way, the pajamas turned out adorable as you can see.

Abby's 5th Birthday

 

Abby celebrated her birthday by inviting a few friends over for a play-do party.

Wesley dancing

I just had to post this. Brian got a new Blackberry and was checking out all its new features. He decided to video me and Wesley as I was having a conversation with him about his Cub Scout requirements. As soon as Wesley sees that his dad is videoing him, I have lost all of his attention. So here he is showing a few of his dance moves and throwing in a karate move at the end. This is truly what Wesley's personality is like. He is so cute!

 

This is the second night as a Pick-A-Little lady. After the play everyone was kissing one another to make kissy marks on their faces. I even got one.

 

Here is Maddie's first night as Eulalie Mackecknie Shinn. She did a great job and kept a straight face the whole time!

Music Man

We had the opportunity to see Madeline perform in the musical "Music Man". Three, sweet, homeschooling moms decided that they wanted their children to have the opportunity of performing and opened it up to other homeschooling families. I am so grateful for all the time and effort they put in to this. There were countless practices involving the learning of lines, dances and songs not to mention the costumes and everything else that goes with putting on a production like this. They were able to perform at the Parowan Theatre. All I can say is "Wow!" They did such an incredible job. Madeline played the part of Eulalie Mackecknie Shinn, the mayor's wife, for one night and then a Pick-a-little lady for the other performance. This was her first opportunity to act, and she did a great job, and I think she really enjoyed it. All the kids were wonderful. This is a picture of the whole cast, but I have more individual shots on there way.

Christmas 2009

We had such great Christmas! It was very simple and not rushed. In fact, I was really sad when it was over. I felt it was spent focusing on the true meaning rather than the commercial side that the world seems to try and suffocate us with.

Temple Lights

We went to see the Christmas lights at the beautiful St. George Temple. I just love this temple, not just because it is the one I attend, but because of its pioneer heritage. How amazing it looks with all those colorful Christmas lights up against that striking white building. It is quite breathtaking. Abby was a little upset when she found out that we weren't actually going in the temple. The visitor's center just wasn't going to do it for her. I am sure she feels the special spirit there, and I hope that she will always have a strong desire to want to go there.
The reason that Kaylie isn't in any of the pictures is because she was our photographer. She loves to take pictures and she is getting really good at it.

Christmas Light Parade

I am really pathetic when it comes to this blogging thing. Here are my Christmas pictures in January. Anyway, this is from our annual Christmas Light Parade that we have here. We have lived here 12 years and this is the first time we went to it. Reason probably being that it is just too cold, but the kids were asked to be in it, so we made it a fun night. We have a dear man in our ward that has put together a train pulled by his Ranger. He goes around our neighborhood offering all the children rides, and they love it. He asked the kids to ride on the train in the parade. We bundled them up in their foam clothing. They couldn't move, but boy were they warm.