Double Rainbow

My friend reminded me when I read her blog about the title of rainbow baby. The baby that comes after your angel baby is called a rainbow baby. I got to thinking about it, and thought that I get a double rainbow. Clara came to us and soon after we found out we were expecting. What a sweet blessing that is.

I went into the doctors yesterday. Everytime it gets close to an appointment, it seems that I get anxiety. I start getting nervous that they won't find a heartbeat. Between losing Nicolas and having two miscarriages after, I really struggle each time that they put that doppler to my stomach. The first time I went in to the doctors, he had to talk me into having the doppler. I just wanted to wait until I felt the baby move, then I would know that it had a heartbeat. He said, "Elisha, if you are this big, there is a live baby growing in there." I consented and then allowed an ultrasound to be performed. The sound of the heartbeat is one of the most beautiful sounds I could ever hear. Yesterday it was strong and perfect. He decided to scan me because he thought I felt a little smaller than 18 weeks. It seemed like forever until they finally got me into the ultrasound room. While waiting, I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head, just trying to imagine why my baby wasn't growing. When it finally came time to scan me, everything was well, I was just carrying this little one really low. I am 18 weeks and measured right on.

Besides having a doctors appointment yesterday, I also had a hearing in the morning with my lawyer and the judge here. My lawyer was trying to have the 6 months that an adoption usually takes waived, but the judge said no. I was disappointed, hoping that it would all be over. As I was on the phone with them, all the ugliness of what I had to go through in Wyoming, came back. Doubts started coming to my mind, wondering if she would still be ours. Thinking how horrible it would be if they took her away from us. My lawyer is confident and told me not to worry. I am really trying not to. I am hoping that the adoption will be finalized by Dec. 16th and we will be able to go through the temple on the 18th...my birthday. That would be the best birthday present ever. It is all in the Lord's hands. All has worked out so far, I just need to continue to have faith.

Needless to say, yesterday was quite an eventful day.